Feels so different now

Just reached home... Feeling a little bit confused and sian at the same time cause of someone... I don't know why i feel like that all of a sudden... Maybe it's because of what has happen last 2 days... Ever since we had the big quarrel about some matter, my feelings for him totally changed and all of a sudden i miss someone so much.. Even thou so many people ask me to stop liking him and i tried but in the end i'll go back to square 1... Just received a msg from him saying " He is sorry, he's not a good guy, make me sad everyday "... How to be angry with him la you tell me... He always makes my heart melts... Haiz... don't know what to do sometimes also... I'm trying very hard to be strong like everyone asked me too... But it is easier said then done... I know they meant well for me but what can i do and say... Oh ya... Just now got 1 idiot angry with me again... Why he everytime must like that when he see me with "HIM"... Honestly saying i really never did anything wrong to him before... Sometimes jealousy really kills people la... Oh ya... My brother Arty is back... Can't wait to see him la... Got so many things to update him... He can show me his belly dance again and cheer me up... Why do i always have to wait for someone... Why not people wait for me... I am always the stupid one... Wait and wait and wait... I'm gonna let go of him real soon... I've not much patience and time to always entertain and wait for him... I'm just gonna work real hard for my future and wait for someone to love me more then i love him... Can someone drag me out of this shit before i fall deeply into the trap... Many people always talk to me but it can't get into my stupid head of mine...  I think i'm gonna end here and wait for him to come on msn and chat with me... Haiz... Going back to square 1 again... Stupid Me